My Biggest Flaw

Why do I over think everything I do?
It's not about everything really... lately its just about you.

What does it mean?
Did he really say that?
Surely he doesn't really care...
How could he, I'm too fat.

I can't believe he'd want to kiss me,
I didn't wear my hair right today...
Damn it, why did that come out of my mouth!?
That wasn't the right thing to say.

He doesn't want me to come over...
or do I just not want to go?
Am I scared of what could happen?
Scared I won't put on a good show?

Maybe he might actually fall for who I am...
Appreciate my flaws & treat me like a gem.
He might just think my stupid jokes are funny...
Hell, he might not even care that I don't make enough money.

Maybe I'm scared of the idea of being in a relationship,
Since in the past it hasn't worked & I've always seemed to slip...
But I'll never find real love if I never let go,
I'll never find true love if I overanalyze & don't go with the flow...

I've decided it's not healthy and it's not right.
So I'm done overthinking... at least for tonight.

Xoxo,
Carlene